Disappointment – how do you cope with it?
We’ve all been there.
That horrible slump felt in the body, following the excitement and anticipation of something you’re looking forward to… dashed by new and unexpected information telling us, it ain’t happening after all.
Urgh! It can feel like a punch in the guts – a real physical sensation – and not one we enjoy! (She says, with as much understatement as she can muster!!)
Who was it who said, “Life is full of little disappointments and then we die!”
Hope it wasn’t me!
Disappointment – the dashing of hope – it happens to all of us, but it’s what happens next that determines:
- How you feel about yourself, other people and the world and
- Whether something positive comes out of it, allowing you to draw a line under it and move forward, and dare I say it, upwards?
You can either act like a victim, like someone who has no power nor say in what happens to you (and as far as I can work out, that’s not a nice feeling to live with! And then you die!)
Or you can make a decision
The root of the word, decide is the same as the other ‘cide’s. Suicide, fratricide, pesticide etc. It’s pretty final!
To decide means to make a choice and then kill off the other options.
Do something different
I have numerous conversations each week with professionals who, despite their best efforts to learn, find themselves failing the same exams over and over again.
And when they do, eventually they develop a new belief about themselves and the world. And it’s not usually very pretty!!
But every single person I’ve ever come across can overcome their disappointment and their fear of failing and go on to pass their exams.
But that would mean finding a new strategy, wouldn’t it? One that works. For them!
Often it doesn’t occur to us that the answer is sitting right there in front of us, if only we could see though our ‘stuff’, the automatic unconscious inner talk, designed to make sense of the world and keep us safe.
If only we recognised where that little voice is coming from, what its intention is and how to make great decisions anyway.
Get a guide
Find the ideal person to help point you in the right direction. Find the specialist who understands what your problem is and knows how to help you discover your perfect solution.
And trust yourself to make your choice, do the work and kill off the other options. You know how it goes… you try a bit of this, try a bit of that, and pretend you’ve tried everything. Or declare that nothing works so why even bother. Or act like you can’t make it happen for yourself and come up with all sorts of reasons.
You’ve got to where you are now by doing things the way you do them.
Wouldn’t you say that now’s the time to get some help to find a new and better strategy?
So, what would it look like to take ourselves less seriously, choose a more empowering meaning about our disappointment, while refusing to entertain the other options and their attendant negative thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviour?
Er… and then you die?
You’re gonna die anyway!
Well, maybe not immediately, with any luck! But we’re all going to end up the same way, so why not create a more enjoyable experience while we’re here?
Just because we can?
Need some help to recover from disappointment?